IS BEING LATE for an event or an appointment a cultural trait? Even ceremonial commitments, like tossing the ball at the opening of an international sports event, may be missed with tardiness of a few minutes. It’s the international TV arrangements and just the way things are done in the world outside that require this discipline of the clock.
Developed countries, after all, post their departure and arrival schedules for public transport to the minute, like 9:18 a.m. Such precision implies a commitment to punctuality and assures that connections to other hubs are guaranteed. The long lines in our public transport system are not just about the big gap between supply and demand. It is compounded by tardiness and missed schedules. Are there even posted times of arrivals at the stops?
Filipino time is not just about punctuality but accepting ambiguity as the social norm for commitments. No excuses are even proffered when someone is less than an hour late — did you get hit by a bicycle when you intruded on its exclusive lane?
With tardiness as a norm, there are still guidelines that apply, based on venue, occasions, and habits.
A seminar on Artificial Intelligence in a hotel function room can have an ambiguous start time. The first schedule, “registration” at 8 a.m., is a wink to the cognoscenti that the actual event will start maybe an hour later. (Walk, don’t run.) The participants, or even the opening speaker, routinely add a half hour before showing up.
An office meeting called by the CEO to review variable pay, set at 10 a.m., is expected to start on time, unless the one who called the meeting is “still tied up” in his 9 a.m. appointment. Here, the attendees just pretend to be busy with their phones until the boss walks in when the coffee is served — shall we start? Nobody looks at his watch.
Dinners at a residence set at 6:30 p.m. are clearly not going to be serving even cubed cheese on toothpicks at that time. Showing up on the dot is bound to inconvenience the hostess still in her housedress directing the floral arrangements. (Can you google “social time” on your phone while I fix my hair?)
With this game of “reciprocal expectations,” it is impractical to take the designated time for an event too literally. The host provides a time which is expected to be adjusted by the socially aware invitee so that an overly punctual arrival does not cause embarrassment.
Being too early (or even on the dot) can be considered a social faux pas. The “early bird” is a rare specimen in these parts.
I confess that I routinely commit this breach of etiquette by arriving 30 minutes too early for any appointment. My calculation of travel time tries to accommodate stalled trucks in one lane, road rage incidents on the way, and ignoring Waze’s estimate of arrival time — you’re too early, Buddy. This travel assumption results in my arriving ahead of schedule. Waiters fixing tablecloths in their undershirts give me a look of pity. (Is he with the audit team?)
Hotels and malls are ideal for finding something to do if one is too early. A half-hour may allow a browse through a bookstore. (This is useful for looking at titles for eBook purchases later.) Any shopping bag being carried to an event can be hard to explain — somebody gave me a box of dates on the way here.
If the event is running late, say the premier showing of a movie already an hour behind schedule (add another hour for being too early), the prospect of simply leaving before the guest of honor shows up can be appealing. I have yielded too easily to such temptations… after signing the guest book. There is always somebody one meets on the way out — Where are you going?
Showing up too early too often is easily remedied by not showing up at all. It seems that absence is less socially offensive than being punctual. The tardy guest receives no censure at all — so glad you could make it, Sir.
It is the fate of early birds to catch the worms of social graces. They are seen perhaps as having nothing much to do, allowing them to be ahead of time for anything. And they always leave early too… if they’ve even decided to stay.
Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda