IN A ROOMFUL of strangers, especially those who already know one another by being part of a club, a newcomer’s self-introduction can be limited to mentioning his name, as if to check if he’s in the right place. The outsider is rescued from anonymity by someone who may know him from some distant past and starts to introduce him to others as his former boss.
A host is obliged to introduce guests to one another by providing biographical details. Titles are a handy description — he is vice-president for branch relocation of the 12th largest rural bank in his province. This provides a conversation opener: Are funeral parlors good indicators of a healthy deposit base?
Introductions provide conversational fodder in search of some common interest. They free the host to leave guests to check the carving station for the roasted pig (Hey, who took away the tail?)
If a subject is unemployed or retired, he can be introduced as a relative — he is the second cousin of the host. An obscure employer (what does your organization really do?) can be introduced by its most famous customer — they did the condo fittings for an actor whose marriage plans were canceled due to his unfounded ownership claim of his residence.
Unofficial partners (even of opposite sexes) are not introduced as a couple, identified instead by separate names (Andi and Andy) with some details — he is the father of her eldest child. Without much biographical elaboration, gossipy parties sort out these off-book relationships to guide the clueless on what topics to avoid.
Celebrities like incumbent senators and movie stars need no introduction. When these VIPs cut through the gauntlet of nonentities on the way to the main table, the tricky etiquette rule involves choosing which ones in the anonymous crowd to introduce to them. Some hidden agenda may pop up when the celebrity is making the rounds — didn’t he bump my car before the pandemic?
Celebrities are ushered to the head table through the shortest route, sometimes involving a side door and then left to themselves and their breadbasket. This is a problem for the host as daunting personalities are too often left with no one to talk to.
It is a social practice then for VIPs to bring along their own coterie of conversation mates. This ensures that they are not isolated and alone at the head table. The accompanying gang provides a bubble against importunate petitioners who deign to barge into the privacy of the exalted one. This accompanying group moves with the special guest in a flying formation, like a flock of geese going south for the winter.
Someone in this coterie may be mistaken for close-in security and left out in the round of introductions. It is advisable for accompanying baggage then to dress properly and avoid short-sleeved barong or overstuffed tote bags.
People with no defined introductory tags use appearance as a way of introducing themselves. Body piercing and skin art (also known as tattoos) may be resorted to. Does a person with a nose ring need help in starting a lively exchange? This off-beat individual needs no defined occupation and is anyway probably unemployable. It’s easy to think of something to say — does his nasal ring impede blowing your nose when he has a cold?
There may be someone in a social event that nobody seems to know. Is he a gatecrasher? Is the mystery person a relative on the groom’s side?
The clueless host breaches etiquette and admits defeat. He asks the mystery man to introduce himself. The embarrassment is multiplied when the person turns out to be someone he should know — he’s here to bless the new pool.
Introducing a guest speaker formally used to be a long-winded affair. The accomplishments are enumerated, and anecdotes are inserted to make the subject more familiar to the audience (He invented the instant water heater for morning baths.)
But lately, even the practice of introductory remarks has been dispensed with — our speaker’s biodata is in the seminar kit, and the audience can read it later (Anyway, he needs no introduction). The speaker is then called to the podium as he is still reading through his speech…to check if he’s in the right place.
Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda